that guy who did the thing in the lecture is a bloody idiot! so is the lecturer! how did he even get his doctor degree? i wonder if he's married at all... it's been well known that engineers are not tactic in BGR, but this bad?

blur's friend has managed to dug out the blog of the girl in question. poor thing... seems like she's a nice girl with a good sense of humour, but badly affected by the incident. not only the guy's proposal is a failure, the guy himself is a total failure. hey you go girl! give him a slap in the face and ask him to wake up his ideas! better do it in public too so that to show you got nothing to do with him, since he tried to show in public that he wants to has something to do with you.
http://www.crapofcw.blogspot.com/
http://crapofcw.blogspot.com/2005/03/random-thoughts-i-think-that-i-should.html

anyway for the link in the previous post. i've broken it up so u would have to join them back together. somehow the html code kinda linkage doesn't work...

ok. for those who hasn't seen the now well known lecture in which a guy, liased with e lecturer, revealed his feelings for this girl in the middle of the lesson, armed with a bouquet of flowers...

here you go. login with nus ID and forward to about 57min, just before the break.

gosh... how cliche can ppl get? declare love in public? with a power point slide and help of lecturer some more... so damn embarrassing for the girl... the lecturer is a pimp! i would have rejected the guy straight in the face if i were her. anyway apparently now this is big, all over nus. coz a friend from medicine just mentioned it. (for the record, medicine fac is like in another universe from the rest of us?) according to him, medicine guys would never do such a thing. well, good for them! engin guys... what had happened to you all?

it's my personal opinion that those who hold a bouquet of flowers and stand outside LT door on V-day is just second of this brave act in lecture.

well... it's time to update sth here. actually nothing much happening. having tests, writing thesis, technical paper etc... just when you think you've gotten sth done, then *bomb*, there is, sth new to do. after submitting all the papers books whatever, there are still 3 tests, and the final presentation. not mentioning the exam is coming right after all these things. but well... if i really do study for the tests, i guess i dun need to study for exam any more.

graduation is making its full appearance. job interviews, house hunting, registering for commencement and measuring own head for the stupid looking gown. taking silly photos all around engin for the graduation annual...

i'm graduating! i m moving out of school! i m going out there to face the cruelty of the working world!!!

first house seeing

had our first house seeing today. a condo at braddell view. it's big and airy, in a quiet environment. the living room downstairs is roomy enough for a party and the bedrooms upstairs are quite big as well. i like the gigantic wardrobes. but there is no table and chair and beds and sofa... the walk btw the train station to the place is not long, but the path looks quite deserted. basically the neighbourhood doesn't look quite vibrant. so decision still pending. will have to look at more houses for comparison.

haha exciting! we are seeing houses together and moving in together soon!

usage of the little finger

1. to play some instruments (in the case of guitar, can chop off the one on the right hand, if u play drums, both then.).

2. to be raised when holding knife, fork, cup etc, in order to look feminine.

3. to hang the key chain when the hands are occupied.

4. to wear the pinki ring.

5. to dig nose (not neccessary for people with gorilla's nostrils).

6. to type (only when you follow the fingering rules).

7. to replace the middle finger when you think raising the latter at people seems too rude of you but can't help doing it. (ask blur and lazy)

8. to look normal

if you can think of any, please add on.

worte a law essay today, and thesis is halfway through. feeling incredibly bored of sch work so took a little break and drew this. now this is when a scanner comes in handy. digi cam captures is no good... the shades doesn't look right. 

community living and locked pantry

i have just received this mass email from my RA(resistant assistant aka a girl that i really dislike). during a spot check either yesterday or today, the office people had found the pantry opposite room 617 (on the other end of the corridor from my room) is indecently dirty and decided to lock it up. now this RA who stays beside me (another fact that i hate coz she is very loud) decided to get some volunteers to clean it up (i got no idea how when it is locked up. break in?) or keep it locked and impose a 10 dollars fine on EVERYONE on this floor, to hire more cleaners. and then she asks everyone of us to label the food we put in the fridge and label the expiry date as well, else she'll throw it all away.

firstly, issit legal for a non-authoritive person to impose a fine as she wishes? not mentioning that not EVERYONE is using that damn pantry. as for me, never set foot there before. how fair is that i've got to pay to clean up other people's ass?

and about the cleaner, isn't it the management's duty to hire cleaners? since when should the students pay for that? the cleaning lady we have now, according to the same RA, is 70 yrs old and suffering from all kinds of disease possible. then why on earth is she still hired if she can't do a good job? not that i am not sympathetic but this is a student residence not a welfare organisation.

to label the food in the fridge, fine. but on every tiny little thing? nah... i dun think so. further more, label expiry date? are you kidding me? how long can a piece of ginger last? dun ask me, i dunno... hmm... how about the left over food i m keeping for the next meal? should i label it as one day or two days? eggs... hmm let me see? typically one months? how about frozen meat? forever? this girl has either no brain or no common sense.

have u ever wondered where did all those teenage gals get their super cutie blog background from? is their generation so techno savvy that they are equipped with the advanced knowledge of html coding and web hosting at a tender age of 14 while i still have no clue (a little bit now hopefully after struggling to make changes to my own template) at 24? now i got an answer, quite a comforting one: http://www.blogskin.com

it's full of those cutie web backgrounds that you see on singaporean teenage gals blogs, completed with music! anime characters, little bears, stars, pink hearts, cute little cursors, funny pop up script window, ready made navigation bars, tag board, and tiny weeny box for you to type ur posts in tiny weeny fonts... you name it!

ok... when i m totally bored with my template and bored with being a 24 yr old adult i would go there and get one... just for the fun of it.

i used to think the pet shop at hol v is already closed and only pet food is left but realised yesterday that there are indeed animals inside. well there were a few cute doggies but nothing beats that cute little 4-months old ragdoll cat there... wow!!! so adorable and so good-natured. the owner of the shop took it in her arm facing up and rock it like a little baby. and it just stared curiously with its big blue eyes!!! you can hold it anyway! only thing not nice about that little kitten is its price-1200 sing dollars...

there was a cute munchkin too. short legs. supposedly more active and advanturous in nature. haha i've been doing research on cat breeds. used to really want a black and grey striped short hair cat, something like pixie-bob. but now i m thinking ragdoll is good! both are good!

a pixie-bob looks like this:


a ragdoll looks like this:


cute hor?

things i find weird to do with a platonic guy friend who is not a gay, a gay straight guy, or at least super metrosexual.

1. cut hair (they should only see the end result and not the process)
2. facial (i scared myself when i happen to look into the mirror when i was doing mask in my room)
3. taking aerobics or dance lessons
4. shopping for lingerie (over my dead body)
5. shopping for clothes and come out of the fitting room to let him see how it fits
6. watching movies with long explicit scenes (a split of second is still fine)

some ppl may find it weird but well guys are guys and gals are gals. the above list is by no means exhaustive.

now not only my dreams are colourful, there is smell as well. i dreamt that i was taking this bottle of perfume off a shelf and sprayed it into the air to test it. only if there is really such a perfume, i would totally buy it. it's a very sweet and yet refreshing smell, haha i think i had the mental image of flowers starting to blossom or sth. anyway the bottle looks a lot like 一生之水 (L 'Eau D'Issey i think) by 三宅一生 (Issey Miyake). but e bottle is red in colour instead of the original white and it's called 爱人之水. how much more imaginative can it get? i just had my own perfume in my dream!

little birdies in tuxedo. so cute! they stopped somewhere outside my window grooming themselves. 

i was looking for this black spagetti strap top to wear this morning (or noon to be precise), but couldn't found it. nvm i thought coz it probably is in the laundry basket, which is already overflowing with clothes. did laundry this afternoon, and as i collected the clothes and folded them, i realised the particular piece of clothes i was looking for was not there. hmpf... combed through my entire wardrobe several times, nada... and went upstairs to search through the uncollected laundry, also nada, found plenty of socks and lacy panties there though. now is time for mental backtrack. i got a vague impression i wore it about two weeks ago. but totally no idea whether it is in this wash or the previous. gosh i hate it when sth is missing and i have to mentally backtrack when is the last time i saw it and where did i saw it and so on... my memory is failing me... soon i would have to start taking photos of myself everyday to remind me what did i wear each day and maybe keep a laundry journal... it's not my favourite or anything but it just bugs me as its mysterious disapperance is so peculiar... where could it be???

an afternoon of excursion

had lunch with qinghui, weisheng, zhiwei and huiyi. had a little discussion of whether singaporean guys are shallow. haha well let's not go into that coz it would be long. quote BBB: ' yes i m shallow, just tell me which girl is pretty.'

after the rest of people went for their lessons, qh and i were two bored people in the slacking mood. since it was a super hot day, we decided to go in for some air conditioning when we walked past chinese library. first time in four years qh went inside there, second time for me i think. took a glance of the books they had there and qh was very amused by the titles of the all the 中国古代禁毁书籍-books banned in the past, of which a majority is considered too explicit to publish in the past. (青楼艳史 and alike) 'haha ancient chinese porno novels!'

as we came out, we saw this 3D wood carving of a part of 清明上河图 on the wall. there i started my cultural tutorial with qh, telling him that 清明上河图 is the longest painting in chinese history, the original is not 3D but a brush paiting blah blah... studied it in art lesson before when i was back in china.

so the topic gradually shifted to antiques, art collection and so on and we decided to go nus museum to have more exposure to cultural stuff, since heard from guofeng some time ago that they have new stuff there. (actually suggested by qh, hmm... an attempt to prove he's not shallow?) haha... nus museum... where the 牛角(脚) story came from...

they are having this persian caligraphy exhibition there now and there is those persian or arabic music playing in the exhibition area (think about one thousand and one night and belly dancing). what? persian caligraphy? you might ask... yes... some of them looks like frost on the cake to me... it's amazing! i m thinking, when european people first encountered the chinese language, they must be amazed by the structure it. one painting like pattern, is a word and can has its own meaning and pronounciation. if say that the basic units of chinese language is 横竖点撇 etc and the basic unit of latin language is the alphabets, a chinese word is made up by all these basic units in all kinds of arrangements and it's two dimensional. in say english language, the combination is only linear. tt's the difference we are getting here. two major types of languages in the world: 表音文字 vs 表意文字. (sorry dunno the english term). english belong to the former and chinese the latter. say if u know the rules of pronounciation, u see an english word, you can pronounce it but may not have a clue what it means. the opposite for chinese. ok i m not a linguistic and let's go no further. what amazed me about the persian caligraphy is that, whether english or chinese, you write it word by word, and in either horizontal or vertical directions. but the persian caligrahpy in the exhibition, it could be overlapping in one whole chunk, could be going in circles, could be by clusters... basically in all kinds of angles and directions and layout possible and we were just wondering, if someone is to read it, where does he even know where to start??? to me it feels like a 2D animal like ant discovering the 3rd dimension, totally beyond comprehension. hmm... reminds me of this short story i read about alien languages. it was saying the aliens, they don't have words and sentence, they represent one idea in one drawing and one glance they know what it means. very very intuitive. haha that could be too philosophical to touch on i guess...

another interesting thing in the exhibition is that they got like one caligraphy item up there and there is a corresponding song track you can play. no idea if what's written there is the lyrics or what. but it sounds quite nice indeed, very persian. hmm ancient civilization... language is merged with art and music... caligraphy and painting, and melody, could essentially be similar things.

also exhibited were persian artefacts. the carpets, the pen boxes, book covers, jewel box with drawers... wow!!! lacquered paper mache and wood with exuberant colours and exquisite paintings... so exotic and so zmazing!

went to amore on my own. after i boarded the train, i realised there was this baby just in front of me sitting on his grandma's lap. basically he stared at me from buona vista to outram park, sucking his thumb, then index finger, then index finger and middle finger together, then the thum of another hand... finally more people boarded the train and his gaze started to wander, marked the end of his attention span. quite a cute baby, probably a few months old. but he got this sad and sulky expression in his eyes, even when he giggles (i was making faces at him) he looked sulky. haha but really very cute...

desiree must be very sad today, her lesson got only two people attending, the third one came in late and went off early. i never liked crowded studio but such a small class is quite stressful. haha she's so sad she shouldered two bars today, one pink and one yellow... when i can only manage a green. and today's routine is very very tiring... after the lesson, i had problem holding my hp to my ear with only one arm, needed another arm to support the holding phone arm.

OBSERVATIONS DURING DINNER

1. red ketchup and yellow mustard mixed thoroughly together gives a disgusting orange.
2. stawberry flavoured yogurt drink in yellow plastic cup is simply hideous.

middle of March. one and half months left to the end of sufferings or the beginning of a different kinda suffering.

this sememster, has been damn depressing, especially recently. about? people... things... it's a state of mind with no clear explanation. maybe i m suffering from overdose of solitude resulted in increase in complexity of thoughts resulted in confusion and depression. ok. diagnosis done.

the thing is, i hardly see anyone around and can't remember when is the last time i really had proper conversation or good fun with my friends. well the last one i remembered was the 7-hrs talk with blur. a lot of people are starting to MIA, as for those still hanging around in school, give out a vibe that reads 'busy, don't disturb!'. i can smell anxiety in the air. lunch has become endless talk of job job job fyp... yes i m depressed. alone in my room staring at my 17-inch screen deciphering C++ code is depressing enough, but i guess, it could be worse...

four years of nus, is starting to feel like a battlefield for me. after so many things had happened, could we come out of here unscratched?

there are two cubicles in the toilet near my room. during weekends, what usually happens is that within a short span of a few hours, half a roll of toilet paper (the big rolls u see in public toilet, not those small ones u use at home) in one cubicle deplets and the other cubicle has its toilet bowl choked up. i don't understand, the only reasonable explanation i have is people take toilet paper in one cubicle and throw it in the bowl of another to choke it... hmm too free during weekends so finding entertainment?

the toddler in 'a series of unfortunate event' is so cute!!!!!!!!!!

nus open house day

nus is a big fun fair today. as i was walking back from lect, (zao lect 10min after it started coz was feeling incredibly bored and had no idea what he's talking about since i haven't watched last week's webcast) i realised the area near SRC is flooded with young kids from jc. young and bubbly and fresh and looking ignorant. guys with heads shaved. girls cling to their helium balloons in nus colours with nus logo printed. there was this girl in mini skirt had these words in big fonts written across her butt: love my mom... well... speechless... they flocked to nus in pairs or groups as if visiting a tourist attraction. there were even buses to shuffle them directly from JC-saw two comfort buses having a piece of paper at the front window with 'Hwa Chong' written on it. i found myself tracing back in memories of my HC days... the beige uniform that we always wanna tuck out (throw your shirt outside according to the principal), the class benches we have wonderful time hanging out at, great frenz, great teachers, the cute guys, the notorious guys, and the cute notorious guys... picking tambusu seeds at NIE for project and ran back in the heavy rain to the chilling air-conditioning in the container classroom, taking a ghost video on the attic of the green house, playing char-tay with a girl from another class and almost tore my skirt, bitching about the number 1 and number 2 handsome guys in school and basically everyone else who crossed our path... and the orientation in mud, the angel-mortal letters with Everclear, the collection of A-level results... yes, i did come for nus open house 4 years ago...

anyway, there were these three guys from nussu at the bus stop trying to convince people to join some weird eca probably CACS. 'we mainly do cultural activities like playing guitars, dancing, singing... but look at me, actually i can't dance or sing or do anything...' then for goodness's sake what are u doing in it? distributing flyers during open house? i guess so... but maybe they could at least get some decent looking guys to do it. i would be scared away thinking the eca contains only freaks if i was a freshie. anyway, they looked at me for a little while and decided to approach other people. i guess it's written all over my face 'go away! dun bother me!' but also they sensed i m a rusty old fart who would probably know better than them. well... nvm...

every year there was this time, the fresh blood flows into the old artery. i rem last year we were at IA and emileen came back to nus with her sister. some blind idiot approached her and asked her to join nussu camp. although we both agreed that the guy must be a really dumb ass, she's really quite happy someone actually thought she looks like a freshie. while i m still conveniently taking comfort in KK's remark a few weeks back about that i look younger than my actual age, someone else has also said that i look very mature. when i went back home last holiday, my working friend made a comment that the word 'student' is written all over me. i believe he used the term '老黄瓜刷绿漆-装嫩'. looks can be deceiving ah? if i don a mini skirt with 'love my mom' written on my buttock, could i possibly pass as a 20 yrs old? if i can, do i actually want to? nah... don't think so...

we grew older, and indeed wiser... although the increase in the 'wiser' aspect is not proportional to the 'older' aspect. but looking back at all the past years, all the stupid mistakes we made, the idiotic ignorant things we've done, and all the bad dressing sense, acne-infested complexion, weird looking hairstyle and tons of baby fat... do we actually want to go back there? that day weijie put the lyrics of an old song on his msn nick and it happens to be one of my favourites one decade ago. when i told him that, he said 'haha you also know this song? this says something about our age.' well... the doe-eyed fresh looking teenagers can be cute, but they are another generation altogether. so let them enjoy their sweet 19, and let me take pride in my sour 24.

someone's blue balloon rose up the sky and dissappeared...

woke up at noon and went for a swim. took it nice and slow but still struggled to finish my 20 laps because of this ridiculous pain in my right calf since wednesday night. no idea what it is but it seems to be getting better with more sleep so just let it be. lucky me, it rains only after i came back.

yawnz... dreamt that i changed my bedsheet... tot it was real coz it felt very real, but now the old sheet is still on my bed which meant what i felt so real was only a dream... guess i was just figuring my bedsheet needs to be changed and too lazy to move so tried using my psychic/ mental power... well crap huh? haha... one more horrible dream is that all my pirated dvds were confisticated during a spot check during my eca practice... ohhh my precious collection...

"i found that i missed the milk. it was my friendly decaying signpost every morning on the way to work. everything falls apart, everthing crumbles, everything rots. but everything looks really interesting in the meantime."-the world according to mimi smartypants

from happy legs...

on sodium overload today. cooked this thing to go with noodle yesterday for lunch and there is a lot of left over. it tasted nice and i was craving for it by dinner time. lazy to cook noodle again so ate the dish alone. of course it is too salty. feeling bloated for the whole evening until today and legs felt as stiff as steel.well talking about legs.

two days ago my msn nick is 'happy legs', someone said sth today about i put the wrong nick and it's supposed to be *** (can't rem, some martial arts stuff that doesn't quite make sense to me, but probably implying i like kicking people). hmpf... if u dunno what 'happy legs' means, ask lah, don't make random assumption of it when it is totally not what you think it is. back to the point, happy legs is a biotherm product, not any stunts or moves u do to kick ppl k? it's a cooling gel to be applied on tired legs so the legs are happy. not that they will smile and laugh lah but it feels quite relaxing.

this thing just triggered me to think that a lot of times people like to use their wild imagintation or limited knowledge to make assumptions of things they do not know for sure. for example someone assuming someone else knows something when that person actually doesn't, or assuming someone is going somewhere, going to do something when it is not the case. sometimes it's harmless, sometimes can cause misunderstanding and sometimes simply more on the annoying side. guofeng wrote in his blog that 'what we take to be the truth may actually be part facts part imagination or expectation. And it is due to these imagination/expectations of ourselves that we dont really see things the way that they are and affecting our actions that are to follow.' although i think Hitch is just a laugh-and-forget-it movie and doesn't take such deep meanings (credit to his philosophical mind), but i do agree on his point. just how many of us can keep such a thinking in daily life?

i hope i m not offending anyone. this is honestly the third time i m changing this entry. i m thinking, how effective is communication based on pure language? when different people read sth they might take on different tones and have vastly different reaction, it happens often as you don't hear or see the person writing it. worse still, we are normal folks, not professional writers or diplomats. how effective are we expressing ourselves using say written language? how much control do we have over things we say? language can be so feeble sometimes. when something is written or said, it is not given away, on contrast, something is added to the burden of the person. because there is worry about the consequences of the words, worry about saying wrong things, worry about miscommunication... hmm... would a telepathy kinda of connection be better?

comment on the flowers i put in the background leh. pretty right? hee

顾城的诗

在湿淋淋的阳光中
没有尘土
贝壳们继续眯着眼睛

春天，春天已经来了
很近
在别人不注意的时候
换上了淡紫色的长裙

是的，他醒了
醒在一个明亮的梦里
凝望着梳洗完毕的天空
他在长大
按照自己的愿望年轻的生长着
他的腿那么细长
微微错开
在远处，摇晃着这片土地

ok i m officially irritated! there has been this noise of a heavy motorbike racing up and down somewhere near my hall ever since i came back, which means for at least 20min or so. (i also considered the possibility that it's some machine in engin but decided that would be too far to hear.) it's really loud and irritating and i got absolutely no idea why this person wants to waste his fuel in this kinda meaningless activities. or maybe there is a group of them i dunno. but for goodness sake this is NUS! however we hate this place this is still an university which is supposedly ranked in top 20 in the world and now some brainless gansters are racing their bikes here... now in a real 'racing' manner as in really go race down the road but up and down up and down basically going in circles. i m crossing my fingers and pray that their/his bike(s) break down real soon from all these abuses.

anyway... went amore this evening for my first ever step workout class. saw fire engins on the way, 5 of them, with full alarm, right behind cineleisure. dunno where the fire is but the hazy air is surely a killer. was 10min late for the lesson and had a bad start. all those stepping up and down turn around is really making me dizzy and confused. din really have much of a workout... it's hardly intensive, just confusing... luckily i m not too slow a learner, after half an hour of twisting my legs together from making wrong moves and almost tripped on the step board once, finally or hopefully managed to master most of the basic steps... haiz sounds how pathetic but nvm.

wherever the fire is, the entire singapore is surely hazy... like what my mother says, singapore must be so small that someone farts in the east and others can smell it in the west.

the blogger xiaxue is in nus today, and i actually dragged qinghui and weisheng to go have a look at her at forum. although had some mental preparation, still her real person kinda had a disillusioning effect on me. no no, i certainly am straight and has absolutely no interests in plump heavily made up ah lians. it's just her blog is funny and nice and this gal really got some things going on in her mind. i would like her to look slightly more sophisticated. qinghui said she looks nothing but a slut. and weisheng thinks he's seen her somewhere before. well tt's BBB speaking. and what can i say? they all look the same with their long permed hair, layers of powers, black smoky eyes and lips that are too red. for example i think xiaxue looks like a twin of the mechanical engin gal who stays across my corridor, with the only difference in height. somehow got a feeling they've become one species of ppl. on top of the original rebonded species, now we have two! wow! how wide a variety!!! certainly we don't have to worry about mutation. mistaking someone for someone else might be a problem, but well who really knows who?

http://xiaxue.blogspot.com/

had my first long day in school this semester-10am to 5pm with 2 and half hours of slacking in between (i know some people would wanna kill me for this). by the time i was leaving lab, eyes were closing on their own will and felt so lethargic i would really just drop dead in my bed. 3 modules + fyp which is supposed to be finishing, and no other activities, i can't quite call myself busy this semester. truth is, i've been sleeping either my mornings or afternoons away. if i can't graduate with a satisfying grade, i know who to blame. but seriously, is there really so much work to do that ppl are practically camping in school since the first half of the sem? wow... scares me definitely. nvm, was just thinking that i would be having such long days every single day when i start work. that sends a shiver down my spine. and no holidays to take when i get all cranky... sigh...

had a long string of dreams with the buggies, half a class of my primary school class and some of my uni friends inside. there is a swan mother who keeps her babies warm by tucking them under her tummy, and a seagull helper who helps her collect swan feathers when she is away. and there is a cute furry cat who is so nice to hug. apparently we were squatting beside a stream catching something and there is a huge snake wriggled its way through and one friend of mine(i can't remember who, a girl though) caught it by its head happily and showed to all of us. then there was this camp in my junior high in beijing but the ppl who attended are my primary sch frenz. and i was so late for the morning assembly i had to cross the field in front of the entire school. after which there was this test thingee going on and the buggies and i came out of the hall and realised it had rained heavily but stopped. the sky line far far away is such a deep blue you can never see it in real life. above it is a ligher shade, more like the real life sky blue. and the white clouds piled in the sky like castle. on the right there is a hill full of trees, and water from the rain is racing down in a fashion of a flood. the steam above the huge stream of river formed a mist that looks a lot like clouds too. the air is so cool and refreshing. felt so good! we walked along and found this chinese styled garden with lots of pavilions and towers inside. blur and i were reading the carvings and realised we dun understand it although it's chinese. then qinghui messaged me saying this irritating guy is asking him to go shopping but he doesn't want to go, asking me how. i was about to reply him when i woke up.

woke up with weird pain in my jaw line near the chin, both sides. what kinda activities would result in injuries at that area? have i been talking too much, opened my mouth too much? hmm...

the movie Hitch is about dating. apparently there are rules that must be observed and men could never get it right. it's a battlefield out there full of land mines. one step wrong, you go boom. the first date, first kiss... must make sure everything is right. sounds calculated, but isn't it true that first impression counts? even if you've known that person for a while, say as a normal friend or a colleague but when the two of you go out on a date, haha, totally another story.

recently, after long hours of programming, i've been watching reruns of sex and the city. was talking to blur that stories like in these shows would never happen on us or around us because the culture is just so different. in say america, people meet people and date randomly. a few dates later, then they decide whether they would want to see each other exclusively. watching SATC, i can't help thinking how many men are these four women dating... how is it possible they have not exhausted all the single males in new york city, and yet, in 10yrs, Carrie only had 5 relationship with only one of them serious. put Hitch in Singapore, i wonder if he would be out of job. not saying which is good which is bad. but as blur complained she has no life, i was just thinking maybe us asians don't date enough. haha or maybe it's just us.

relationship is a complicated thing, because human beings are complicated thing, or at least the female ones. it's not as easy as what carrie wanted-a guy who is sure she is the one, because when that one guy comes along, she might not want him. it's also not as easy as what samantha wanted-no fuss hot one night stands with no strings attached, because we are emotional animals who do not want to go home alone to an empty house. not the charlotte way either-a perfect house with perfect interior decoration, perfect furniture, perfect china, not mentioning the perfect man, coz nothing in this world is perfect and it's the flaws that make them beautiful. maranda? she's too smart, men are scared away, but tt's not her fault. people say that being needy is a nature of women, but how true is that? sometimes guys can be more needy than us. there are so many self-help books out there but has any one of it had every individual guy and gal figured all out? we barely understand ourselves.

well enough crap for the day.

haiz... stuck at fyp again... dun see any logic error in my code but it just keeps hanging after running for a while because of some memory problem...

running and go hand itself...

shanshan's blog

http://spaces.msn.com/members/blurcamel/

hehe she asked to help her advertise. i like the interface, very pretty. keep up the good work blur! heehee!

sigh... time for self-reflection for alot of us it seems... today a friend asked me how come such a little person (in size) as me got so much thoughts to organise. i dunno, i've been like that since i remembered things. i keep trying to organise my feelings and thoughts but they get constantly messed up... similar situation of my room... keep packing and keep messing it up... no wonder ppl say how come u are always packing ur room but there doesn't seem to be a difference.

quarter life and mid sem crisis

a lot of things are happening around me recently. myself, friends... i guess everyone has their problems. this week is a week of tests and quizzes, some people starting writing thesis already and other people like me still stuck with fyp itself. friends around me are sending out resume, applying ofr jobs, going for interviews... luckily or unluckily, i m spared with this. it's already March, soon the final semester of our uni life will be over. still confused about academic work, still confused about life in general... as we all stumble along the way, anxious to find out the relationship between self and the world, we wish life could be a code made up of 'if-else', better still a switch statement, that could be run as many times as we want. but the programme runs only once and hang. too many choices might not be such a good thing sometimes, it leaves us standing at the crossroad and wonder, wasting all our time in choosing, and regretting.

having flashing back of memories, fond one and not... rainy afternoon...

it's been three days of the absense of the cleaning aunty. wondering what had happened to her. apparently the management never bother to send in any replacement so my floor is practically in a mess now. the floor is littered with horribly numerous strands of hair (typical of a girls' floor). the toilet nearest to my room has run out of toilet paper for two days in a row and the one further away has all its toilet bowls choked. all the hostelites are so used to the convenience of living with public facilities that are taken care of and what everyone does is just to wipe her own ass, not caring that her left over food is choking the wash basin, because, by tml it would all be cleaned up by someone. now the someone is not there and things start to get really messy. sigh...

some links are updated. those interested can go and browse around.