mid packing

stayed up till 3+ to pack. and woke up at 1130 for more packing. this is how my room looks like now:



earthly possessions... that's what held us down... haha... but impossible not to have coz i m a mere mortal... i need two big boxes of clothes(including pillow, bedsheet and blankets though), two medium boxes of shoes and one medium size box of bags... not mentioning all the CDs and books i've accumulated over the years. now there is hardly any space in my room to put my feet down. luckily i m not fat... (i hope no one objects to that).

went mac to buy lunch. coz guofeng say weifa is packing 'cute chicken' (quote) for them. i say the chicken is too cute for me. in fact it reminds me of exam... so i packed mac and went to the classroom to look for them and also to enjoy the air con. (hmm actually at this very moment my room is super duper windy and very cool, a beautiful saturday afternoon if not looking at the mess behind me.) well 4 lonely souls studying there: zhi shen, guofeng, chee kiong and benjamin. the poor guys who are taking DCS. later on weifa came with food and more gossiping begins. someone is volunteered by everyone else to help us shifting tomorrow. hehe coz he has strong arms? the cute chicken rice also became 黯然销魂饭. coz that particular someone choked and let a tear flow down. that should have never happened in front of zhi shen coz he could go on and on about the person is missing someone so he cried blah blah... reminds me of 大话西游, 有一个女孩子留了一样东西在我心里,是一滴眼泪. wahahahaha...

one interesting topic is about神雕侠侣. apparently the 雕 inside cannot fly but can run faster than a horse. (the horse thing is according to weifa, as if he has run with the 雕 before. so conclusion is the 雕 is not a 雕, it's a 鸵鸟...

graduation

officially finished nus.

the last paper, is possibly, or most likely the worst paper i've had in nus, or rather, the worst i've done in my entire life. i think i left more than half of the paper untouched. no time and dunno how to do. first time ever, in history!

feel so cheated and defeated. not as if i've never studied. i left the exam hall area when people started discussing the questions that i didn't do... on my way back tear flowed down. how regretful it would be, that the end of my entire education is marked with a failure. ok maybe i wouldn't fail coz everyone is doing badly, but i can't take even a C. i've never had a C in the entire 4 yrs... end the whole thing with a grade that spoils my whole record will be my biggest 遗憾...

sigh... so this is the way i am graduating...

politically correct

i sincerely hate politics. most of the time it sounds to me like children playing in cliches. if you friend him i won't friend you that kinda thing... perhaps it is much needed but i just hate to talk about it and hear about it. when it comes to politics, multiple standards apply and there is no definite answer. even logics dun apply... which makes it much worse than law.

recently, my friend KK and his friends are having some discussion about some political issues on his blog. to be specific, about the china-japan thing.

i posted some comments, and people are arguing back pointing out the mistakes made by chinese goverment, apparently pro-japan. all the issues of cultural revolution, tibet, tiananmen square were brought out as well no matter if they are relevant. being me, i had to point out where i think they are wrong.

this led me to think, why are people so hang up on debating about politics? they take a stand and then rebute everyone else who has a different view and think they are objective. i am not objective in this issue i admit. how can i? it involves my country of origin. i feel for it. and how about singaporeans as a third party? does that mean third parties are definitely objective? i bet to differ. who can get hold all the actual facts? i don't think there is anything as absolute truth in the first place. people in china might not have insights of how it is really like in japan. maybe they are influenced by propaganda. but how about those ppl criticizing china? how much do they really know about china?

if it can never be objective, and maybe some people don't know the subject matter well enough, what's so fun keeping talking about it? may i just say that, it doesn't matter what the actual truth really is coz we would never know, but it is more important to understand why people take such actions, what are the reasons and sentiments behind? after all, in politics, there is no absolute right or wrong, at most you can be politically correct, except for some things that can be judged by obvious moral standard.

talking politics for fun of course is harmless. but how about when it becomes offending to people who are actually involved? well i have to say i do feel a bit offended by all this talking. like i can't stand when people come and tell me tibet is an independent country. it is bloody not an indpendent country! it would be like saying singapore is part of malaysia. in this case i guess i looked for the trouble myself by reading KK's blog. but he's my friend, although i can't expect him to be so considerate as not to mention it at all because he has a friend from China, but... well... i m just thinking how much politics can affect ur personal relationships with people...

so, as a third party, shouldn't people really ask themselves do they really understand the parties involved in the event before they call themselves objective and make comments and site all those seemingly truth? personally i think, if not, they shouldn't take a stand at all coz it doesn't concern the third parties. that's y the america is hated by so many-being nosy.

and let's talk about the sentiments. i m not saying i agree with what the chinese are doing. but i m saying i understand the sentiments behind their actions. they may not know the absolute truth but they acted. why? coz they have this passion and it's in the culture. singapore culture is more peaceful and practical if i may say, not as emotional, not as passionate. someone has asked me why do chinese still resent the past so much? it's been so many generations. do i have any relatives killed by the japanese? yes i do, my great grandpa was a mechanical engineer who repairs aeroplanes for the chinese army during world war two and apparently his death was directly linked to the japanese's bombing. but well, i've never seen him before so i dun feel that sad. but that doesn't matter. coz you don't only feel passionate about something only if yourself has directly link with it, direct loss and benefits. there is an emotion called patriotism, called pride.

my point is, if the culture is different, there is a big gulf in between. so my suggestion is, before commenting, take a role switch.

comments are welcome but no side taking on china-japan issue and other politics k?

white board drawing,click to enlarge

last day of mugging

today is officially the last day of me mugging in school. a day of hating ACS, gossiping and fun and laughter.

it is amazing that even when some people are away, they can be gossiped about. the first thing i was told to do as i got into the classroom was to go to the neighbouring room to check out the drawing on the white board... well... i m going to post it here later so check it out. the left half of the drawing is the super spider crawling about with the tone of final count down. haha... that's a tribute to the dsta zai qiu who is also known as the ganjong spider. the right half featured zhishen as a crow flying by. down there got mickey and a pig. hmm... mickey was the one who drew the picture but he claims that he was cheated and betrayed.

anyway a lot of gossips today... as 'mickey' was trying to take revenge, we also caught wind of someone else's secret... wahahaha... so fun! but of course he subsequently got more suaning...

as blur and i concluded last night, all the gossip so far, or to be politically correct-most of the gossips so far, stemmed from one person... mr. ZS!!! no wonder he's portrayed as the 乌鸦... big mouth some more, zhi qiang who just joined us for studying recently also know i m BBSS already... duh... or as ler ming put it, this is a 'scandalous room'. coincidentally when he said it, zhi shen was sitting at the teacher's table, in the position to chair the scandalous room...

anyway at 8+, after i came back from toilet visiting, blur asked me if i smelled fermented bean curd as i entered the room. there indeed is such a smell, mixed with macdonald's fries etc and we were wondering where it is from. zhi qiang, sitting beside blur, with an innocent and serious face (he always has an innocent and serious face, 诚恳的脸), pointed at blur's feet... haha... tt's a very good one lor, coz he did it as if it was a matter of fact... and blur was on the rim of stabbing him with her pen knife. a few days ago, coz blur killed a cockroach in her room, she was named 小强杀手 by us. and 智强 can also be called 小强, so he deserves to be killed by blur anyway. hmm and that led us to think that it was written on someone's eraser '别人都怕怕,我最爱小强'. haha...

today i must remember to watch death of cleopatra on discovery channel!

when ppl say 'rot in hell', do they mean come to singapore at this time of the year and sit at somewhere non-air conditioned in the middle of the day? the weather is killing! i can only comfort myself by saying 'i will have air con from 1st of May onwards!' 4 more days... how to sleep at night?

today blur said: 我感觉自己像一只充满了水的海蜇. it comes from the muscle ache both of us are suffering... punched too hard yesterday at kickboxing. i can't bend my back, and i can't reach to my back with my hands... there goes my comtemplation of sleeping naked to feel cooler, coz i would have difficulty taking my clothes off.

anyway, hello, is there anyone reading my blog? blur's blog got so many comments and mine is almost barren... sob sob... i sound boring do i? *jealous*

hmm haven't concussed... just posted a damn long comment on KK's blog... guess i m very wordy today... yawns...

DARS paper and the cuppage expedition

had second paper today.

actually woke up with a very heavy head... felt so dizzy that i could drop on the floor any minute. well when i looked at the floor it was actually rotating clockwise (ya my mind is still clear so i took notice of the direction of rotation). haha...

it's the first engin paper that i wrote so many words in the answer book, for a while it felt a bit like answering law paper... and... seems like making careless mistakes is my forte. why did i forget to not the outer product???? why why why???? it's such a simple question...

completed the paper 10min before the end of exam and couldn't bring myself to take another look at it coz if i do, i probably would really faint.

anyway, being incredibly bored and low morale, qh and i decided to go out for a movie and dinner to destress. watched 'be cool'. halfway through i was getting really restless. it's funny but the plot doesn't draw me in, it's just not tight enough. doesn't tickle me that much. maybe when americans watch 大话西游 they would feel the same way. but uma thurman is soooooo drop-dead gorgeous!!! totally adore her! and the combination of uma and john travolta is just enticing... and the rock looks so funny with that funny hair and moustache, the character is so contrasting with his wrestling profession, a gay that likes to wear red boots and spank his own ass, dreaming to be a star.

now comes the highlight of the day!

i have this magazine cutting from a i-weekly back in 2003 (i wonder why i still have it). it's about some authentic jap restaurant in town (maybe tt's y i kept it). i mentioned to qh before so he suggested to we check them out. as i dun haf the cutting with me and i only remember those restaraunt locate inside cuppage plaza and orchard plaza, we decided to have an expedition.

just for how many times in your whole life have you really been inside those two shopping centres? for me, cuppage plaza maybe once or twice, orchard plaza, nada... and as we really browse through, wow... it's a whole new world there...

headed to cuppage first. as soon as we go in, there is a jap place on the right hand side, it's called 饺子的王将(haha directly translation). no fancy restaurant setting, it's more like a hawker with a bar top counter and a few tables. menu written on long rectangular wooden flanks were hanging on top of the counter, written in japanese of course. walking further in is the ahodori, selling 串烧 and all kinds of chicken dishes. can smell it from quite far... and it smells like... good food... we took a peek inside and it's a very small restaurant, also with a bar top counter and a few tables. but at least this one is a proper restaurant. it looks like those 小吃店 we see in jap drama, looks very cosy.

anyway... i didn't really count, but the first 3 floors of cuppage plaza have at least 7 or 8 japanese restaurant, some of them look really really fanscinating and all look very authentic. can tell that coz all the menus are written in jap (some dun even have proper english translations) and a lot of japanese dine there. cuppage is a very empty building, the centre part of it is under renovation. but amazingly, all the jap restaurants we saw, have people eating inside and most of them are quite fully seated. of course for those fancy ones the price is kinda steep too. can go up to 50, 60 bucks per person.

qh was saying he's having a cultural shock all of a sudden. being a singaporean for 25yrs and never know such places existed. what's more is, we are actually in singapore but for a while we felt like we are tourists in japan. people around us speaking a language we dun understand and we can't even read the menu!!!

we went over to orchard plaza to take a look too but the restaurants there is not so densely populated so we gave up and went back to cuppage. due to budget constraint, we decided to try out the 饺子的王将. 顾名思义, the place is famous for its gyoza. it's definitely all handmade coz there is a person standing there making gyoza all the time. not like ajisen or some other places, use ready made frozen gyoza. i m not a jap food expert so i can't tell which branch of jap food it is, but it seems to me it's a hybrid of jap and chinese food coz there is 麻婆豆腐 and 回锅肉(川馆子??). there is one 天津饭 or sth like that, looks a lot like 蛋包饭. egg on the outside and rice inside. but we saw people eating it only after we made our order. tried the set of a ramen with 6 pieces gyoza, about 13 to 15 dollars, net price, no gst or service charge coz it operates more like a hawker. for the dining environment, it's a bit expensive, but when the food arrives i tell you it's totally worth it comparing to places like sakae sushi, ajisen... the gyoza is really really nice! and the roast pork in the ramen... the fats literally melt in my mouth!!! the soup is also very very nice! 不油不腻又很香. what's more is i dun feel very thirsty after eating the whole bowl of noodle (very big portion), so probably no MSG?

then there was the highlight of the highlight!

two tables away from us, seated two guys who are obviously japanese. the one facing me got very small eyes (KK if you are reading this i guess tt's y blur said u look like jap), and the one facing qh has this look that is totally not masculine, but he doesn't look like a girl. there is something about him that you can conclude he's a guy, but a very 秀气 kinda guy, with nicely cut and styled hair dyed in golden apricot, wearing baby blue singlet with a grey jumper thrown over the shouler, army green khaki pants tied at the ankle and nike sneakers. and he has this porcelain complexion!!!! 白里透红,滑不留手,一点都不油! kill me now! there is only one word to describe his look: pretty!!! think along the line of 泷则秀明 when he was younger, nothing less than that. it's those type of guys that even guys think he's pretty and make girls go crazy and wanna take care of him. it's the look that makes people feel very 心疼... perfect candidate for 姐弟恋, or sth like 魔女的条件 whahahaha...

i m kicking myself for not sitting on the other side of the table. coz even qh can't stop beoing him... and i had to stand up pretending i m refilling ice water (ice water is self serviced) to take a look at his front view. it's the first time ever, that a guy is making a guy(presumed to be heterosexual) and a girl going gaga at the same time. and it's the time when a camera handphone would be useful lor and both of us dun haf... ahhhhh...

anyway dun get me wrong, he doesn't look or behave sissy at all. and there was once he laughed out loud and the laughter sound very much a guy. and he eats in this slow and graceful manner... aiyo... i dunno if they noticed us beoing them. haha we must have looked like two old perverts.

after they finished their food they paid and left. hmm... well... he is short... but nvm, those we guessed they are maybe around 16, 17 yrs old only so he still have a chance to grow taller. but may he preserve that porcelain complexion...

on the way back i was really feeling sick. my whole body feels very sore... maybe having a low fever. and best part of all is when i finally reached my room i realised i didn't bring my key. called blur and she's at orchard. diao... only if i realised my key is missing a little bit earlier, i could have met her in town and wouldn't have to spend 40min waiting.

but in the end i finally got my key from her and it seems like i've spent almost an hour writting this blog. i m going to go concuss now and hopefully dream of that pretty boy... wahahahahaha... ya i do sound like an old pervert now...

tiramisu, in english it means pick me up. it's a desert that i really like. tried a lot of versions, some too bitter, some too sweet, some contains too much alcohol, some got weird texture. is baking an art? balancing all the ingredients and tailor to taste buds of different individuals.

i googled and never found the historical story of tiramisu as told in the movie. does it really have anything to do with love? i therefore doubt, if love really tastes like tiramisu... then what does your love taste like?

i am but a stupid girl who gets touched by even lame lame lame shows...

first paper and etc

had first paper today. law. very long haven't woken up so early already... feeling so tired for the whole day.

another afternoon spent studying in school and apparently no one is really in the mood. lazy and blur and i were sitting on a bench outside the classroom, enjoy the air con blowing out from the room and the guys were inside. and blur started folding paper airplanes and throwing them inside... this started the airplane war. a lot of throwing in and out of the room was going on.


being guys, of course they don't want to admit defeat, but since the guys do not know how to fold the plane, they went searching for the methods on internet.... *sweat*


a group of little kids... haiz... only the sweet couple stayed out of it.


after researching, they built the merlion 1, a model piloted by jeffrey.


being guys again, once they started the plane building business, they couldn't stop any more and played around with it for very long, while we girls have already settled down to study. but anyway war was over there is world peace again!


anyway a very unproductive afternoon so blur and i decided to leave early. on our way out of engin, outside lt7a that area, we heard purring of a cat. and there it is, up on the staircase that leads to lt7. purring non-stop with its sad little voice and staring at a couple of little little birds. we thought it's hungry. then it lay down, looking very obedient and cute, and looked and purred at us. but when we went up the staircase to approach it, it stood up in alert. sob sob... the cat is scared of us...




being kind hearted as we are, we thought we should get sth for the cat to eat but nowhere is open. there is a vending machine nearby so we bought a pack of vitasoy (which is an alternative to milk) and cut a square hole on it. as we placed it in front of the cat, it came over to sniff it but then proceeded to lie down beside it without even licking... sob sob sob... the cat doesn't like vitasoy... so 不给面子...

these days are no good... the weather is ridiculously hot and stuffy. last night i couldn't sleep for no reason. in the end i got up at 3am in the morning and packed a box. time to start packing. i hate packing... i hate hate hate packing...

last few days of nus... i thought about taking a camera and take photographs of my room, and places i go to daily, like engin canteen... last few days of nus... 4 yrs and it is coming to an end. although i didn't exactly have a wonderful life here, somehow the fengshui of nus is sort of against me. but indeed there is a lot a lot of precious memories and i do feel melancholy leaving it. i feel sad packing. i feel sad i m leaving this room of mine. although it's small and it's messy. it's directly opposite the lift and cockroach has visited once.



after graduation, would things change? of course they do. nothing stays the same always. will people drift apart? maybe... but effort can always be put in for us to remain close friends. let's just hope, when things change, they change for the better.

tomorrow is the first paper. good luck everyone!

get Xiaxue's God out of my room!

thanks a million to my very brave neighbour shin shin who helped me check out on the cockroach...

it is indeed behind the shelf. she says the feelers are still moving but more dead than not liao. and she scooped up the insect with a piece of paper carried it away mumbling 'it's dead liao, so poor thing...' the cockroach is so poor thing ah? it scared me until half dead lor... anyway when she got it out i had to stand far far away and couldn't even bring myself to look at it. one glimpse is more than enough to make all my hair stand...

but thank goodness now i can sleep in peace...

A HAIR RAISING EXPERIENCE

IMAGINE HOW STUNNED I WAS WHEN I TURNED AROUND AND SAW A COCKROACH THAT'S ABOUT 2INCHES EXCLUDING FEELERS ON MY WALL!!!!

I WAS SO STUNNED I COULDN'T EVEN SCREAM... TOTALLY DISGUSTED!!!!!!!!! A COCKROACH IN MY ROOM! IT'S THE FIRST TIME EVER AND THE FIRST TIME EVER I'VE COME SO NEAR TO SUCH A BIG ONE...

I DUNNO WHERE I FOUND THE COURAGE TO SPRAY INSECTICIDE ON IT BUT I DID. AND IT WENT BEHIND MY SHELF...

errr... out of my wit now... dunno what to do... think either i can't sleep tonight or i will have to sleep with my head facing the other side... i am totally grossed out and freaked out!!!!

retribution... talking about cockroaches on my blog and now i got one in my room... i m so super alert now...

today is a bad day for studying... feeling very lethargic, having a headache and sore eyes. be it DARS or ACS, it's equally boring and hard to digest...

hmm... should anyone trust blur to wake up lazy and sleepy in the morning? haha... sounds so suspicious...

this might be some sort of a sensitive issue, but let me not approach it in that very edgy way.

first of all i must emphasise that i am NOT advertising for Xiaxue and her blog. i just happen to find this particular incident quite interesting. her friend recently died in a bike accident (this is not the part that's interesting, condolescence to the deceased). and there was this very insensitive pastor that evanglised at the funeral by starting of with 'let me take this opportunity to...' by all means, Xiaxue is furious and i kinda of agree with her. this is the particular post. last time i checked there were 241 comments. wow...

but this topic has been debated times and times again and i do not wish to enter the war zone. what i really find interesting is the post follows it. in it, she started by saying she believes God is a 12-feet hairy flying cockroach and she's so scared she'll go anywhere the God puts her to be. it sounds rude ya? and read the comments. it seems that she's developed her own belief system.

since constitution has granted us freedom of religion (law notes slide11). no one can accuse her of being rude to other religions. coz come on, she's talking about her own. and she can make it anyhow she wants it to be. so the philosophy behind is. when she tells you about the Cockism (the name she gave to it), you might find it as total crap, but when a person from another religion be it catholism or christian or taoism or buddism or whatever preaches, she has every right on the earth to find it total crap too. so if people do not like her preach of Cockism, they better not preach to her. haha i must admit i find it quite smart...

mugging in school now and typing on guofeng's laptop while he is away.

just now we all watched this documentary about ancient cosmetic surgery on discovery channel. it's so amazing what they could do thousands of years back in India, Egypt and the Roman Empire... some have live human disected some more... gross... amazing also how far humans could go for beauty and how the ancient medical techiniques advanced.

and then later on somehow someone mentioned the thing 守宫砂 and we were all wondering how does it actually work. googled and there is no satisfactory explanation. the only thing we know is that it uses some kind of lizard that eats scorpians, feed it with 朱砂 until it's all red. then pound it to power and inject into the arm of the virgin girl. the type of lizard is called 守宫 so the name comes from the lizard and not the purpose of the thing. so far the most likely explanation is that it's done on the 经脉 and as the 'thing' is done, 会动了真气 then the thing will disappear.

lerming tried to google with 'chastity mark' and only porn sites came out. haha... so basically maybe western medicine cannot explain it bah...

haha i guess we are just sooooo bored...

oh was just reminded the topic was brought up as that the virginity of lerming's eraser was taken away by lazy... hahahahahahaha

let's twist again!

the 60s is back! the twist! haha... had a very fun amore session today with brancy. we did a lot of twisting, up and down, shaking the shoulders, to and fro, and the leg jittering thingee... haha it's more like a dance lesson than an aerobics one. when i was already so tired she played this very nice jazzy tune and led us to do a really fun dance and i was immediately perked up. visualising uma thurman and john travolta in pulp fiction.

i've caught the self-reflection virus.

looking back at this semester... lots of things happened... and i spent most of the time in a hermit kinda lifestyle. basically i never lingered in school longer than necessary and had been locking myself in my <10 square meter room eating, sleeping, coding, typing, slacking, surfing, stoning... i guess i m spending 70% of my waking time with my computer. could have married it if it was legal.

as a result, now i am suffering from overdose of solitude... actually it's since the beginning of year4 i guess, first i m losing friends i dun see in lessons, then this sem i m losing the remaining ones. for some unknown reasons, tragically my social circle has shrunk to almost non-existent. now as i see some of my old friends around in school, to whom i haven't been talking to for at least over a year or two, i dunno if i should/i m too lazy to/it feels weird to say hi.

next before i knew it, nus will be over for me and there is all the hussle of shifting house, flying home for my longer period of hibernation in a different country. when i finally come back and try to re-civilize myself, everyone else would be working and the lost threads are even harder to pick up... long gone are the days of over-booking... now writing this blog is my desperate attempt at connecting myself with the outside world but most of the time it just feel like i m talking to myself and no one is listening...

i feel like i m in a very weird place right now... use an old phrase: trapped in my own world...

done with law test and watchint triumph show

sometimes i hate myself.

when a decision is made and later regretted, what do you do? do u carry on with it or do a U-turn? carrying on, you would sometimes find yourself wondering 'what am i doing here?'. doing a U-turn, though, sometimes you regret it again and fall into a oscillation pattern. making a not so good decision is not the most horrible thing, the most horrible is trying to do something to remedy the situation and realising it just got worse. and then in the end i just find myself a horrible person. i guess there are just periods of time that i find myself as a total failure and nothing is going to be right. is that normal?

well.. the above post has nothing to do with the title. lingerie models are the most horrible lot. as they are wearing so little, i really can see how tall and skinny they are. they seriously have legs up until... like the height of my head? hmm but apparently the national tv decided they are not going to have any thong and g-string scenes.

my favourite parts of the show are the few guys inside and the two husky doggies. i saw the chest jittering guy finally, as mentioned in xiaxue's blog. he is really cute!

happy birthday blur and zhishen!

despite the slight unpleasant argument that ended my day - to the friend in question if you are reading my blog, i understand how you feel and i apologies for any harsh lecturing tones i might has used, but i stand my ground of views and i hope this doesn't affect our friendship - today is actually quite a nice day.

played badminton in the morning and had a very full lunch at arts canteen. afterwards studied law with the bugs and co in the classroom until 10+ in the evening. had quite a lot of discussion of all the clauses, doctrines blah blah... considered myself quite hardworking today.

and... highlight of the evening! it's blur's birthday today! (or rather yesterday coz it's 2am in the morning now) and zhishen's birthday on sunday. so we put together a mini celebration with a cake, some candles and one pathetic balloon. haha... hope they were truly happy... but i guess the planning wasn't as discreet as it was supposed to be with all our phones beeping at the same time. here are some pics:


blur is so scared the balloon will burst.


looks better with the lights on


all of us


another one of all of us


the one with the balloon. hee wrong setting of cam so it's exceptionally small.

i shrunk the pictures to fit the page. looks horrible hor? for the orginals, go here.

i went online for a short while just now and had sort of an argument with a friend from yr3. he is doing VIP with nus and very unsatisfied with his $300/mth pay that he gets. as soon as i went online he messaged me to ask what is the average vip pay. since i did IA instead and very very few of my friends did VIP so i said i m not sure. but given that nus pays $450/mth for IA (in fact they pay all companies that get IA students from nus that amount), i think for a shorter term like VIP, 300 is reasonable. then he started saying some of his frenz are getting 700 and he heard average is 500. i assumed these friends of him are doing it with outside companies and i told him that it's very different inside and outside nus.

there he started calculation of what is his daily pay and what is his transport and food cost, concluding 300 is far from sufficient. i was getting a bit impatient and i got very contradicting views. so i told him sth like this: while you are a student, your prime duty is to study and not earn money. vip provides you a good chance to learn so be happy if you got a position at all. what you learn now decides how much you would be paid later after you graduate. now you shouldn't really be concerned about the pay.

that is truly what i think. the prime aim of an attachment, of course is to learn right? because for bigger bucks any one of us could easily go and teach tuition. if he's so unhappy with the pay nus gives him, he could have chosen to do it with outside companies if he could find. well if he couldn't, then do with what he has and be happy he could find one at all. some of my friends last year couldn't get any IA position and had to squeeze schedule like crazy in the end. and most of them, just settled for whatever offered to them. there is not bargaining of pay. look at it this way, if you don't do it, you would be paying school fees and getting no pay at all. and there are many people who do attachment with no pay, just for the experience, just to learn things.

there he went, telling me his working hr is like 8 to 5 every day (isn't it normal?) and he's doing programming, independent project. i was getting truly impatient now. 'no one pays for my fyp.' i said. which is the bitter truth. independent proj, checked. programming, checked. longer term than a vip, checked. graded, checked. not paid a single cent and a lot of shit from professors, checked.

and then he was telling me i sound offensive, and he's in no mood for a lecture. i thought about it. maybe my tone was really a bit harsh so i said sorry for the harsh tone but i do have very contradicting views as you. and still he went on and on blaming me. i said sorry, isn't that enough?

well... putting myself in his shoes, probably he's pissed now about the pay after comparing with his friends. (but hey, that's just part and parcel of life. vip positions is largely based on luck not merit. and let me state my point again, this is a time to learn not earn money so really don't need to be so concerned about the pay.) probably he just needs someone who would just listen to him whine and complain and take the same stand as him and show some sympathy. too bad i m not that person because i really don't think he's that ill treated.

i m just thinking... are students nowadays asking too much? we want lessons that are interesting and relevant to the real world, we want less school work and higher grade, we want a prestigious certificate, we want more exposure, we also want reduced school fee, and now we want school to give us high pay. what happened to the attitude?

i threw away more than half of my lecture notes from the past 7 semesters coz i have the soft copy and the hard copy looks very clean... hmm so i figured that i don't always take notes in lectures... haha wat's the news?

this feels good!

swing!

there are two types of people in this world, one can swing and the other cannot. haha...

watched swing girls today. it's such a nice show! cosy and funny and the theme is about swing! big band! my favourite type of jazz!!! cute japanese girls, funny plot and beautiful music, what more can you ask for? it's such a pity that they didn't show it in all cinemas and have a massive publicity. coz it's really nice!!!!! left me happy and hopping for the rest of the day!

L, is for the way you look at me
O, is for the only one I see
V, is very, very extraordinary
E, is even more than anyone that you adore

Love is all
That I can give to you
Love is more
Than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart
And please don't break it
Love was made
For me and you

*smiling and singing to myself*

a bit stoned now...

after i happily came back to my room after DARS test, opened my email inbox, *BONG* a bomb has just been dropped. just when i tot i m done with fyp, my sup wants me to archive my stuff (which is fine), including inside a user's guide and a programmer's guide. hmpf... user's guide. i have it in the help file of my application so i could just copy and paste, but programmer's guide? what is it for? ya it's for the next unfortunate fyp student who comes along when the prof thinks hey let's do an extension of that project!

the thing is, when i started my project, how come i had nothing to guide me? worse still, all the comments written by the post grad of whom i've taken over the code are written in chinese! i know no programming language in chinese! (shame of me? but tt's the truth!)

anyway, i shall be the kind soul to the next unfortunate fyp student... 19 pages... tt's almost half of the length of my thesis... phew... but got it finished.

went to amore this evening with blur and had a good workout, followed by good dinner at chinatown. the mutton soup is ever so yummy! and sotong, and kangkong... one funny thing happened on our way back. as we reached the platform of outram mrt, a train was just leaving. the door was still open but it was already beeping. it's quite crowded inside so there is not much room at the door. blur dashed for it and i hesitated. one step slower and i was cut off. we stared at each other in astonishment through the glass as the train drove away... i tot this kinda thing only happends to teenagers. haha...

haha heard straits times gave one whole page to the 'propose love in lecture' thingee happened some time ago. and there was interview of the guy Gary Ng and the prof. a lot of different views were given as well. hmm the power of media...

possible explanation for the red thread in the air:

1. my first reaction - there is a giant mutant spider
2. which logically comes with the first (provided by qh) - spiderman paid a visit
3. someone was trying to fly a kite sitting on the tree and the kite was caught on the roof of my block (not the other way round coz there is no kite on the tree).
4. since it was likely that the thread was led to 8th floor of my block where the laundry room is, i was thinking maybe someone's clothes got so torn up a long thread was blown out of the window and somehow landed on the tree.
5. a girl was having an affair with a guy staying on the 8th floor and she had to have an escape route.
6. 月老在牵红线的过程中撞到了树上.

click on the photo below to see an enlarged version. the red arrows are pointing to the thread.

there is this weird red thread like thingee hanging somewhere across the middle of the air, outside my window. it may looks like it starts from the window, but it is not. it starts from the tree at the background. and i dunno where the other end goes to coz it stretches all the way up to the sky and it was too bright to see. 

lucky days dun last... think i m falling sick...

just finished a 2-hr law lecture, and feeling horribly dizzy... anyway i sped up the webcast to 1.5x the original speed and still could hear it clearly. that is just how slowly the lecturer normally talks. haiz... one more to go... must clear the debt today.

just realised last night if i were to go home in early May and coming back only mid June, i would have to pay the June rental before i leave. seriously broke... i estimate i would be cleaned out after paying for all the deposit, rental, plane tix and daily expenditure from now till the day i leave.

anyway just some thoughts... things are getting settled one by one, which is good. shall use the already over-used word again that we are all at the crossroad of life. basically meaning we are facing big changes in our lifestyles, living environments and so on. probably compared to certain people, i am considered advanturous and my lifestyle is sort of chaotic. yes i dislike mundane routine and i want excitement, so i embrace changes... sometimes. the bottom line is, as long as not everything is changing at the same time, that would be too overwhelming. in the swirl and twirl, i would like to hold on to something unchanging, something solid, something i could fall back on. maybe, like a cosy room of my own... that's y i dislike shifting, no matter how good the new house looks. i get used to the old house, and i create my own comfort zone there.

a new house, a new neighbourhood, new roommates*, new job, new timetable, new travelling pattern, new lifestyle as a whole... i felt like i m swept off my feet, or going to be, in a not so positive way. would i like the job? would the pay be enough? would we live in harmony? would... now the feeling is like... a lot of anticipation mixed with anxiety and distress.

still a lot of things to discuss and settle...

all my life, i have known that when bad things happen, they happen together. now for the very first time as i remember, that i realise good things also can happen together. as of yesterday, i even broke my old faithful 95 curse. for twice, it actually came just as i reach the bus stop, instead of leaving me staring at its butt. not only on me, but on my friends as well... found my jeans, found a house, found jobs and good positions. haha am i not the lucky star? dun worry greedy, it would be ur turn soon.

my new levi's

springdale condominium at bukit timah... the future home of the bugs! finally... after so much of searching up and down... we would have a home... yeah! so tired but at least got it done... feeling accomplished. hehe luck is good these two days.

levi's ah levi's

yeah! i m done! effectively half graduated! examiner is friendly and nice, didn't ask many questions. in the end was chatting with him after the thing and he's very sympathetic saying c++ programming is hard. wahahaha...

it's almost time to go... my last presentation... the end of the project that lasted almost one whole year... am i nervous? can't say as much. more of an anxious feeling... i dun have a speech prepared, and i can give a presentation any time. have been slacking the whole day yesterday, flipping through my thesis and slides as if there is so much to do. but no, there is not. numb numb numb... come, let's get it over and done with!

this medicine friend of mine is devastated that some rich egoistic guy donated a 100mil to nus and med fac is renamed after him: yong loo lin school of medicine. now his 'trashy education' (quote him) has a trashy name to match.

what is it about naming a school/award/building etc after a person's name? isn't it only people who have invaluable achievements and contributions in history have this kinda things named after them? like Nobel Prize, or the Oscar (whom i remember as someone's uncle). so, since today money can buy you anything, just throw in a lump sum and likelihood is you will have the name of a school under your belt and if the school does well, you will be famous. of course there is always a risk to take. what if the school sucks? woohoohoohoo... just bought yourself a bad reputation. therefore, nus medical school costs 100 million. they have just established their price. if this yong loo lin guy is willing to settle for some lower grade college he probably need to only spend 10% of that. somehow it sounds to be like high class prostitution and street hooker.

nus always does this. look at how many names do we have here. HSSM library. Yew Siew Toh conservatory of music, C J Koh law library, dun forget the place i m staying in, kouk foundation house. have i missed out any?

you would say, hey what's wrong with that? he make monetary contribution so as a gesture of appreciation something is named after him. fair enough. the thing i m thinking about here is about branding. people come to nus medical school because it is well known (how well known i m not sure, haha but if it's not that well established i think the yong loo lin guy is wasting his money then). but now it sounds like a private institution that provides no recognized formal education. to establish this name again, i would think some time is needed. i dun haf any examples here but i would say some schools do not change their names for whoever's sake, because their name is the most valuable asset.

well let's just hope the donor doesn't go bankrupt or get involved in some scandal else nus med fac graduates will be referred to students from that scandalous name faculty.

爱情 张楚

你坐在我对面　看起来那么端庄　我想我应该也很善良　
我打了个哈欠　也就没能压抑住我的欲望　
这时候我看见街上的阳光很明亮　

刚好这时候你没有什么主张　刚好这时候你正还喜欢幻想　
刚好这时候我还有一点主张　我想找个人一起幻想　

我说我爱你　你就满足了　
你搂着我　我就很安详　
你说这个城市很脏　我觉得你挺有思想　
你说我们的爱情不朽　我看着你　就信了　

我躺在我们的床上　床单很白　
我看见我们的城市　城市很脏　
我想着我们的爱情　它不朽　它上面的灰尘一定会很厚　

我明天早晨打算离开　即使你已经扒光了我的衣裳　
你早晨起来死在这床上　即使街上的人还很坚强

什么是好音乐? 我觉得就是,不管身在何时何地,总能把我带回一种意境的音乐. 可能是快乐得想起舞的华尔兹,也可能是愤世的摇滚. 就是音乐一起,就感觉整个世界都是我的电影大布景,演的可能是悲剧,喜剧. 也许这就是为什么movie soundtrack都很好听, 和剧情都联系起来了.

这两天一直在听以前的中国摇滚什么的... 回忆起以前的好多时光. 人都是有阶段性的. 想想以前小的时候,也有那么一阵子,特别想当一个流浪歌手的情人. 就是找一个老狼或者黄磊那样有点忧郁的整天弹吉他给我听. 后来就迷上了张楚. the bugs 应该记得那会儿我整天扯着嗓子喊'蚂蚁蚂蚁蚂蚁蚂蚁蝗虫的大腿,蚂蚁蚂蚁蚂蚁蚂蚁蜻蜓的眼睛...'. 还有'一块红布'什么的. 抱一把吉他用了吃奶的力气strum. 超没形象. 后来又有一阵子想当一个北京愤青,看了一大堆颓书,张驰的'北京病人',那个谁我忘了的'像草一样不能自拔',棉棉的'糖',高晓松的'挂在墙上的脸'.最经典的是石康的'摇摇晃晃','支离破碎'. 看到'在一起'的时候觉得不行了,颓到底该振作了. 那段猛听新裤子,'我愿意,我愿意,享受这痛苦的每一天'... 每一个阶段,都好像是拥有一个我自己的秘密花园,藏着我的喜怒哀乐. 完全自我,完全美好. 就像王小波说的,是我的精神食粮.

最近看到消息说超载的高旗去玩冰上赛车了. 唉... 他是不是都不会老啊? 跟N多年以前一样帅... 绝对是我的那一型... 小眼睛... 超有气质...

monday 5.30pm hi/lo lesson at cineleisure is very fun! the instructor is so cute haha! feeling good!

well today there was a weird conversation during lunch. i can't quite remember how it was initiated. something about someone being hairy. and somehow before i realised how it happened the guys were talking about hair near... hmm... the unmentionable... no not what you are thinking... it's the backdoor they were talking about. big ray had some doubt if there is hair there at all and the rest were absolutely certain about it, having discovered the hair in various ways in some point of time in their lives. and then they were urging him to go back home and use digi cam to take photo and blah blah... too gross to go on...

and somebody raised a question asking what the body hair is for coz it seems kinda extra. ok the armpit hair is to facilitate sweating and dissipation of heat and toxins. hair inside nosetrils and ears are there to trap dust and keep it warm. (hey this is not applicable in singapore but it is true k? when i went to 哈尔滨 that year and the temperature was -30 degrees, it literally freezed in my nose when i breathed in cold air, a very funny and interesting feeling). eyelash no need to say is to protect the eyes. but how about eyebrows and chest hair and leg hair, arm hair, or hair on your head? bingjie suggested chest hair is for girls to see and melt... which is not very convincing... btw small ray got an idea that armpit hair is to prevent sweat flowing down along your arm... left me speechless...

oh and stories were told about bingjie eating banana in brunei jungle and air diving. two separate stories were linked with plenty of imagination.

木村拓哉 for levi's ad

hot hot hot!!!!
drooling all over the place...

this morning while we were having law tutorial and yean yean was talking about all those previous cases, two people sitting beside me mentioned that how come all the cases we study are english cases, (well i tot it's a common knowledge that singapore follows english law system?), and joked about there isn't any chinese cases mentioned, probably they don't even have trial in china.

at this point of time i happened to be looking into that direction and overheard that conversation, so i gave them a stare. they soon realised it was not very appropriate and the person sitting right next to me tried to apologize. well, i knew they were joking and although not very pleansant i could still take it as a joke. what made it worse was the way he apologized. 'but it's true right? that law system in china never really evolved from the past?'

now here, is that a question or statement? i m not sure. to me it sounds more like a statement with a question mark for decoration. even if he did want to ask such a question, he already had that assumption in mind that china is still a barbaric country with an emperor who chops off people's heads as he wishes. this person, from what i know about him, means no harm. but i think he has really watched way too much tv and knew very little about the real world out there.

if you are going to make a judgement about something you are not familiar with, could you at least do some background research to find out more before making some rash statement? i know it's natural that people in singapore view chinese nationals with some prejudice and they think china is not such a developed country as singapore. but hello, i can deal with strangers who think we chinese students trying to rent a house will bring guys back to stay over (different guys each night some more) and do drugs in her house, but i dun want to get into such situation with my own friends who have known me for a few years.

let's just say, when china still had emperors, there was already law. the famous justice bao? heard of that couch potatos? in fact countries like china, india have very long history of established law system. (hey the lecturer said that k? were u listenning? btw i dun think there is a perfect law system anywhere lor. if singapore law is so perfect why do u think he has to be so sarcastic?) put the past aside. well, the law system in china probably is a bit different from singapore. and the country is undergoing big transition in social and economical aspect, so the transition and development in law system might not be totally in pace with that. there might be loopholes here and there. but it is evolving, fast! it's 21st century and china is hosting olympics in 3yrs time!

my point is, if you really don't know, it's ok. but dun make assumptions, dun prejudice, at least be open about it and enquire. there is a whole world outside singapore. ok?

孤独的人是可耻的

10年了,魔岩三杰回来了.

以前人们说,张楚死了,窦唯成仙了,何勇疯了. 现在他们都回来了. 1997年,张楚一首孤独的人是可耻的,一炮而红. '这是一个恋爱的季节,空气里都是情侣的味道,孤独的人是可耻的.' 那是个新音乐的春天. 他的善良,他的无奈,他的孤独寂寞,他的诗一样的音乐,曾经那么打动我. 几年没有听了. 在满街都是周杰伦的时候,张楚又回来了. 2005年3月,在北京的复出演唱会,他老了,只是眼神还是那样寂寞,那样没落.

苍凉的'西出阳关',伤感的'姐姐',美丽的'结婚',快乐的'蚂蚁'... 感动依旧... 从心里唱出来的声音,多少年都是不变的.